Relationships of All Kinds is one of the biggest challenges facing men today says the Good Men Project. However, the biggest challenge may be the relationship a man has to himself. For the last 5 years I’ve had the opportunity to be connected with hundreds of men from all different walks of life, backgrounds, and beliefs. And there is one thing I see that consistently weakens a man's strength and confidence.  

Keeping His Word

The power of keeping your word to yourself has a more far reaching effect on your life than you think. In fact when you consistently let your word fail, (not keeping it) overtime you become comfortable with letting it go. Ever told someone you’d stay in touch and didn’t? How easy is it to repeatedly let yourself off the hook every time you tell yourself you’d do a small task and never complete it?

Psychologically you’re building a pattern of behaviour that tends to show up in other areas of your life. If you sit back and think about it, where else in your life does this show up? How are your relationships with others impacted as a result? Here’s the real challenge, like any pattern of thinking, it always starts small and works its way into a way of being, which becomes part of your identity. How you view yourself as a person has a bearing on how you behave. Consequently, if you’re not behaving in a way that’s consistent with who you believe you are, it weakens your confidence. 

Here are 3 Simple Steps to Build Your Confidence

1. Start Small

People often overlook the small things. But without them, you’ll never build anything worthwhile. Next time you say you’re going to do something, no matter how small it is, DO IT! 

2. Get an Accountability Partner

Find someone who cares about your personal success and well-being. Ask them to follow up with you 3x a week for a month, to see how well you’ve been keeping your word to yourself and others. Do me a favour, don’t let your self off the hook during this period of time.

3. Celebrate the Wins

The first time you make a conscious decision to keep your word for a task you really didn’t want to do, set up a small Woo for yourself. Finally, after you’ve kept your word for a week straight, you should start to feel your confidence grow. These are some simple steps to help you engage in the process of changing your identity around keeping your word.  

With love, 

Colleen x La Vance


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