There are a lot of men who are weeping on the inside because as boys they were taught to hold it all in and that letting it out wasn’t manly; paired with a society that doesn't know what to do with a broken man. As a result, generations of men have not learned how to successfully deal with their emotions and many times those closest to them are impacted by it. Over the years, I’ve come to learn that the most important relationship you have on planet earth is the one with yourself and if you don’t do a good job taking care of yourself you can’t possibly do a good job taking care of your Boo. But how do you take care of yourself by successfully wrestling against negative thoughts during a time where everyone seems to be on edge? 

Here are 3 Ways to Enhance Your Mental Health  

Become More Aware of What You’re Thinking

In a previous article we talked about the importance of being aware of your thought patterns because it’s how we think about things that determines its impact on our life. It reminds me of a proverb that says “As a Man Thinks so is He”. In other words, you become what you think. Thoughts are the most powerful things in the universe, consequently, the greatest battle you’ll ever fight is the one for your mind. You see, your thoughts control how you feel and if you’re not aware, your feelings will inevitably control your behaviors. After while, your behaviors will determine the quality of the life you create. So,  you are where you are today because of your thought patterns over a period of time. 

Let’s do a quick exercise. Ask yourself, what is my predominant thought throughout the day? How does it make me feel? What impact has this thought had on my life? Pay close attention here, because with this understanding you’ll begin to see how your feelings are shaping your reality. Some of the reasons why we all struggle with mental health is because we haven’t yet learned how to keep our mind in check with consistent thoughts and beliefs that serve us.


Find a Mental Health Support Group

One of the greatest investments I’ve made over the last several years is being involved in an accountability group with men who’ve seen me at my best and my worst. They point out areas where I need to grow as well as areas where I’ve grown. And when I’m overreacting they help me see reality for what it really is by helping me understand my emotions but encouraging me not to be led or controlled by them. Finally, I’m able to share the good, better, and bad in my life without the fear of judgement. Employing a group like this in your life will make a significant difference in your mental health. Remember, a brother is born for adversity.  I encourage you to find a group of men you can trust  who will challenge you to be your best but will also listen and not judge you when you’re at your worst or somewhere in between. 

Pray. Mediate. 🙏

I’ve developed a habit of praying and meditating which has given me greater peace and a sense that “All is Well”. In fact, one of my predominant thoughts is “Everything Will Work Out for My Good”, not because I deserve it but because I'm a dearly beloved child of the Creator. I didn’t fully understand how loved I am until I had children of my own. I consistently seek to bless my children no matter how they behave. This comes out of an overwhelming desire to see them full of joy and happiness. Consequently, I’ve concluded, if I’m like this as a man, how much more the Creator. By the way, feel free to check out this scientific article to get more insight into the benefits of prayer and mediation. 

Finally, if none of the above move the needle, feel free to seek professional help. After all, you can’t be the best for your Boo or your relationship if you don’t safeguard your mental health. It’s like anything else in life worth building, it takes time and consistent work.

With love, 

Colleen x La Vance


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