an exemplary or exceptional mother, especially one who successfully manages a home and brings up children while also having a full-time job.


This job description is as attainable as finding a chocolate covered unicorn encrusted in precious gems with a horn made of fairy wings and pixie dust. Yet, all mothers, including myself included have felt the pressure to achieve this.  Our society has created an instant pot of mom perfection where there is this expectation for mother’s to be all things to all people all the time. Mother’s have been made to feel inadequate and insufficient far too often. It would be naïve to think this pressure did not exist prior to now, but social media and technology really amplified this pressure by infiltrating every part of our lives.

Mom groups, parks and parent council meetings used to be exciting, relaxing and inviting places. These were places where we moms got our moments of sanity. For a few hours every week there’s no cleaning, no cooking and the best part is you got the chance to speak to an adult!  But now instead of being excited you have to brace for impact, now you have to prepare yourself for the “look” along with a snide comment when you try to justify your parenting choices.

“You let your son watch TV?”  

“So… what do you do all day? You must have so much time on your hands since you’re not at work”

“You’re kids are at daycare from 8 until 6, and then bedtime is 7:30…oh”

“I was never tired when I was your age; I’m surprised you don’t do more”

Let’s not forget the dirty looks when you have to decide between physical school or on-line learning!!

Why we need to stop encouraging women to be supermoms

Nothing can make anyone one feel more inadequate than being constantly bombarded with posts, tweets, snaps and memes of edited perfection. Social media has permeated ours lives in such a profound way I often think people have forgotten that there are no undo, edit or filter buttons available in physical reality. Once the “my life is awesome” filter comes off we all end up being perfectly imperfect.  The only things we get to filter in person are our words so let’s use them, wisely and carefully.

Motherhood is challenging enough without the external pressures to achieve the impossible. The truth is we all know we are supermoms, whether we work full time and have a nanny or stay home full time and tend to our homes we are all trying our best to do what is best for our families. Motherhood is a privilege and a blessing, but it is also extremely challenging. Remember to be gracious to yourself and to those around you, you are doing an amazing job!!  Try not to fret too much; no matter how many times you try to quit or mess up on the job, you’ll get hired back!

With love, 

Colleen x La Vance



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